Unemployment

The best part about being unemployed is getting drunk in the middle of the day. I should know. I, like many of my fellow 20-somethings, have been unemployed. I am unemployed right now. In fact, I have been unemployed twice this year. BOOYA.

Okay, it's not because I am a bad employee or because I got laid off. It's because I'm in a wonderful relationship that has, in the past year, required quite a bit of moving to different cities for his job. What dummy agrees to be unemployed twice in a bum economy for a man? --->THIS DUMMY<---- But let's just get this out of the way: I love my boyfriend, he's worth it, I'm glad we moved, etc. etc.

All that aside, being unemployed is the pits, especially for someone like me who is overeducated in something not entirely marketable. It's about as fun as online dating: you scour the internet for someone who might be a good fit for you; you make first contact; most of the time they never contact you back, but if they do, most likely you will just sit across from each other at a table trying to make yourselves seem cooler than you are, and then, after going through all of that, you will most likely be rejected anyway. At least with dating you get a free drink for trying.

So, here it is fellow unemployed people of our 20's: Ravina's Guide to Being Unemployed

1. The best thing you can do when you are unemployed is to find a friend who is either unemployed or underemployed. This turns daytime drinking into a fun, social, urban activity rather than a sad, pathetic means of blunting your emotions and feelings of inadequacy. These are some strategies to make friends that have worked for me:
- Stalk strangers in a coffee shop
- Stalk your neighbors (love you Laura!)
- Pretend to sell something on Craigslist and then when they come to pick it up, invite them in for a cup of tea (I haven't tested this one out, but we'll see how it works this weekend when I try to "sell my desk")

Whatever strategy you choose, make a friend, preferably one that poo poos sobriety.

2. Find a series on Netflix that you like let it be your go to. I chose Friday Night Lights last time I was unemployed. It was like having a little voice on in the room while I was applying for jobs. Does it make me sound crazy that I need fake TV personalities talking to me while I conduct internet searches? Sure, okay, fine. But then, you should see me without them...

3. If you are financially able, hold out for a job you think will get you somewhere. I took one of the first jobs I was offered when I was unemployed last time, and it turned out to be kind of a bust. It turned what seemed like 4 months of wasted time into 12. Hullo? That's 8 months of good drinking, down the drain!

4. Cold calls. This is seriously my favorite part about being unemployed. I call random people at different organizations and see who will have lunch with me. It turns out, everybody wants to have lunch with someone they don't work with. Some people will even give you whiskey out of a coffee mug in their office at 10 am, so I highly recommend it. Sometimes this turns into a job, sometimes into a hangover, but hell, it's always better than sitting on your ass a home or stalking potential friends at a coffee shop.

Okay, but seriously now. There are two important things a twenty-something must know if they are unemployed: First, you need to make sure you don't spend all your money. If you don't have a support (family, significant other, etc.) who can float you, you need to find a way to make a little bit of cash. So be brash - find consulting jobs or tutor or bartend, but watching your bank account drain away is seriously the most depressing thing in the world, so mitigate that process. Having a little bit of money gives you a sense of freedom, and that's important when it feels like it's raining down shit all around you. Second, you might be kind of special in your own way, but in the grand scheme of things, you're probably not that special. You're not going to find a job that gives you free reign to solve the world's problems, and challenge you unendingly, and give you independence, and mentoring, and not require you to work that many hours, and pay you obscenely. Sorry. Most likely it's not in the cards. So be smart about your job search, and not snobby. If you get a decent job, take it. Work out the rest later. Work-life balance is for people with children, not people who want to leave at 5 everyday to make their spin class.

A final note about unemployment: try to enjoy it. You can either sit around and dwell on how awful your lot in life is - believe me, I have done plenty of that - or you can take it as an opportunity to reassess your career goals and just chillax for a while. Work will always be there, but, as I'm finding out faster and faster, your twenties won't always be.