29.
In comparison to 28, whose look has such lovely, soft curvature, 29 just feels sharp and severe. Something about the typography of odd numbers, I think.
I thought it apropos to take a look at Glamour's list of 30 things to have and know before you turn 30 (a) because who doesn't love a good list and (b) because it kind of feels like the kind exercise in taking stock that birthdays cause you to do when you get older.
Before I do that, however, here is a list of my own of things that have already happened to me today that are wonderful and amazing, even though, I'm not going to lie, I might be going through one of the hardest points in my life right now (and not because of aging, for sure, but that does play a part).
1. My friend Cara, who I have known since first grade, looked at me and said, "oh, you're only turning 29?" Technically, this happened yesterday, but who's counting? Certainly not Cara ;)
2. My 2-year-old niece reminded my sister it was my birthday this morning. There are literally no words to describe what it feels like to find that out.
3. My cousin, with whom I used to be incredibly close with and have since fallen out of touch with due to some difficult family circumstances, called me at 5:15 AM from London to wish me and chat. I got the chance to tell her how much I missed her and how good it felt to hear her voice. Had she not forgotten about the time difference and had I not been so delirious with lack of sleep, I probably would have kept those things to myself. I'm so glad I didn't.
4. I got to hear my best friend's voice.
5. I looked down at my toes and realized that my pedicure from two weeks ago still looks baller.
6. I looked in the mirror and realized that I look so much better than I did 10 years ago.
7. I had two work related calls and realized how much smarter I am now than I was last year.
8. I was neither angry nor hurt but instead totally bemused that my dad forgot my birthday.
9. I sat at a booth alone eating lunch and did not feel sad or alone because I am, and have always been, good company for myself.
10. It's only 3pm and I have been showered with birthday love from the people closest to me, the people who love me, the people who like me, people who just barely know me, and the people who only remember me. I know people hate on birthday Facebook posts and texts, etc, but they are a fabulous reminder of all of the energy you put out into the universe over the years and how it all can come back to you, even if only in small gestures. Did Iggy Araujo, a high school crush, have to take 30 seconds and me a Facebook message this morning? Absolutely not. But he did, and like I said above, he's never seen me look better. BLAM-O!
Alright here goes folks: Let's see how much Ravina has to get done this year!
According to Glamour:
By 30, you should have:
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
Under my belt I have one of each, and am working on cultivating another. (Riddles anyone?)
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Define decent. And by furniture, can I count a table I use as a footstool? And what if it wasn't previously owned by family, but rather was found discarded by the side of the road? Actually, the answer is no either way you slice it. Damn. Point Glamour!
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
Yes. And to be honest, they both make me look a mix of tough and hot.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
Check, check, and check.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
Yes, because down to my core, I think I am only getting better.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
It's got it's juicy moments, but I'm actively looking for juicer ones.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
Yes, but I could use a little more.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
Um, I have these in multiples. How the hell else would I be able to flee the country in a desperate but necessary escape? I've seen enough spy movies. Now all I need is the combination to a train station locker, and I'll be all set.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
Ha! Yeah right! This is an idiotic item on the list. Guess what? Smart girls know how to pad their resumes. Do I ever promise things I can't deliver on? No. I don't have to do that anymore. But I'll go ahead and admit that my resume is more than "slightly" padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
My closest friends know they must do both as a prerequisite for friendship, and know that I will also do both.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
Yes, no, and I prefer red.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
No, but if I did, it would most certainly be an experience rather than an item.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
Oh, I do.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
Yes, yes, and is this code for gray pubes? Because I have no plan for dealing with that.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
Sorry Glamour, I think you strike out again. I only know a charmed few who have all of these under their belt by 30, and I am certainly not one of them.
By 30, you should know:
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
I think so, but this is an absurd statement, Glamour. Someone who has lost herself doesn't know it until she finds herself again - or finds herself for the first time. That's the thing about love - when you're lost, you rarely know it.
2. How you feel about having kids.
I mean, if you haven't seen my nieces, (a) I'm sorry, because you're life is not complete until you've met them, (b) they're amazing - of course I want some kids, and (c) not right now, please.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend with-out ruining the friendship.
Yes, because one thing I have in spades at age 29 is courage.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
Still a mystery.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
God, I hope so, but how do you know?
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
Yes, because she's my hero. No - does that make me terrible? As for tailors, I'm still on a quest for a good one in Chicago, but I can tell you where to go in NYC and Champaign and who to avoid in Little Rock.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
Yes: the answer is lots of parties, lots of wine, and lots of music. And potentially cable.
8. Where to go—be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat—when your soul needs soothing.
Yes, and my soul has needed a lot of soothing lately, so I am happy to report that I have a lot of places to go.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
Why would I want to change any of those?
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
Totally moot. Childhood is never perfect, and for better or worse, it's never totally over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
Turns out there isn't much I'll do for the former, and there is a lot I'll do for the latter, and that I am reassessing both of those facts of my life.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
Actually, I know a lot of people who got away with doing those things for a very long time and are still wonderful, productive, fabulous, inspiring people, rotting gums and all.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
You never know who you can trust. That's what trust is - it is the absence of knowing, and doing it anyway. It is a sweet, beautiful risk.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
Sometimes this realization reaches me a little too late.
15. Why they say life begins at 30!
Good god I can't wait until I'm 30. I definitely know why they say that life doesn't begin at any point between 20 and 29!
The crazy thing is that even though I am going through a personal crisis right now - one of the hardest of my life, certainly - I am so happy to be 29.
When I started this blog, it was a reaction to the fact that, at 24, I had no idea how to live my life. I didn't know what I wanted, how to get it, why I was so unhappy all the time, why I didn't have any control over my life, why I didn't feel equipped to make big decisions, blah blah blah. And I can honestly say that with the greater part of my 20s behind me, I AM SO BALLER NOW, I CAN HARDLY STAND IT. And the best part is that I KEEP GETTING MORE BALLER (BALLER-IER, if you will).
So yeah, I'm going to go ahead and say that even though life sucks right now, I just can't stop feeling like 29 is just going to be my year.
(And if it isn't, I'll just start lying about my age - who says I can't make 29 last a couple years extra? See?! Always have a Plan B: another lesson learned in the 20s.)
BOO-YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
